Review: Discovery (Drakyl Ranch), by Thianna Durston (Rating: 1/5)

durston-discoveryDiscovery, by Thianna Durston (Drakyl Ranch, Book 1)
Publisher: NQWYE Press (September 1, 2015)
Page Count: 154 pages
Genre: Gay (M/M) Paranormal/Horror, Romance

Rating: 1 out of 5

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I am honestly not sure how I finished this book. I bought it on pre-order, before there was a first chapter to take a look at, because the summary sounded really interesting. But my god, every single page was an uphill battle until I finally reached the end.

In a nutshell? Don’t waste your money. Let me put this into perspective for you: I think Twilight was a better vampire romance than this book.

So, basic premise: there are vampires (vampyr) and drakyl. The former are disgusting and withered and smell terrible and are so stereotypically evil that I honestly expected Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove to spring out of the pages. The latter are everything good and amazing, handsome and with long life spans but also blood-drinkers. Oh, and the vampyr really hate the drakyl for what is, I guess, some kind of xenophobia/racism thing?

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And in the midst of it all is Aaron, a guy on a Montana ranch who is “allergic to the sun”, and Jaret, the super hot British guy who helps Aaron realize that he’s actually a drakyl. Because Aaron’s last name– which is, no surprise, Drakyl– doesn’t give that away.

There are plot holes big enough to devour an elephant. There are sex scenes that had me cringing (seriously, monster cocks and guys coming for 10 to 15 minutes at a time, gross). The bad guys are so “evil” that they were just pathetic. The writing makes me think that the author has never seen the term “proof reader” or “editor” before.

Here, let me stop ranting and instead give you a few actual quotes from the book:

“When f–king another drakyl, he could come for fifteen to twenty minutes.” (Kindle Loc. 512) No, seriously, gross?

“Mid-day, he was awakened from his form of sleep which was to lay still and not move even as his mind went over every possibility that could happen.” (Loc. 632) Yes, the entire book is filled with awkwardly-phrased sentences like this.

“Since he’d already dropped a tablet he had created over centuries of work into the bottoms of each bottle, their chemical reaction would stop the blood from thickening.” (Loc. 1030) Jaret is just so brilliant and special that he has, of course, created a magical tablet to do this.

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Look, the bottom line is, if you want to read a terrible romance with good vampires vs. evil vampires, you’d be better off reading Twilight than this.

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