Throughout Asexuality Awareness Week, I want to take some time to chat with a few ace folks about their experiences and identities. I’m calling these mini-interviews Embrace an Ace (because I’m hilarious like that), and hope you’ll enjoy getting to learn more about how diverse the asexual spectrum is!
Today I’m thrilled to welcome Lucia to the blog. Lucia is an AroAce feminist bookworm supporting LGBTQIA rights, and can be found tweeting @MsClosetPervert.
Welcome Lucia, and thank you for stopping by!
To begin, please tell us how you identify on the asexuality spectrum (and please explain what any terms you use mean)?
I identify as aromantic and asexual, which means that I’m neither romantically nor sexually attracted to people.
Do you remember how you first learned about asexuality, and how the realization that you were asexual came to be?
I first learned about asexuality when I was about 15 years old and looking up what the A in LGBTQIAP stood for. I understood the rest, but I remember reading about how A stood for Ally on some websites and how it stood for Aromantic/Asexual/Agender and it was all terribly confusing to me. I ended up reading some definitions so I’d at least know what it all meant, and I had a very strong “wait this is totally me” moment. I closed the tab and noped the hell out of there and pretended to never have heard anything about it because I very firmly didn’t want to be that weird and wrong and broken, and that’s what I felt it meant. My closest idea of what aces were like was Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, so that didn’t help either.
I identified as bi/pan/questioning for a while after that (because I figured that even if I wasn’t attracted to anyone, I was at least equally unattracted to everyone), but earlier this year, I read The Invisible Orientation (secretly, at night, under my blanket) and finally accepted that a) this was me and b) there really wasn’t anything wrong with that.
What kind of reactions have you gotten from friends, family, and online community that you’ve come out to?
I came out via facebook on my birthday, and the reactions were really positive. My mom is kind of confused but trying to be supportive (even if she says weird things sometimes). My sister didn’t really care either way, and my friends were really supportive. My mom’s husband thinks it’s weird and somehow because of porn, but he doesn’t say anything about it most of the time.
What’s your favorite flavor of cake?
That’s a tough question! Partly because most kinds of cake are great, and partly because I eat vegan. I bake a mean vegan cheesecake though, so that’s probably my favorite!
When you were first learning about asexuality, what’s some advice or information you wish you’d been told?
I wish I’d been told from the start that being ace doesn’t mean I’m broken or that something’s wrong with me. I made some bad choices and had some bad things happen to me because I tried so hard to be normal, and I feel like I could have avoided that if I’d known then that I’m just fine the way I am.
I also wish there was better ace representation in mainstream media because it can be hard to understand that you’re still okay if you never see anyone like yourself anywhere (it was to me, at least) and you really have to look for ace characters if you want to find any.
Thank you again Lucia for taking the time to answer some of our questions!
Please stop by throughout the week for more posts about asexuality and more Embrace an Ace interviews!