Throughout Asexuality Awareness Week, I want to take some time to chat with a few ace folks about their experiences and identities. I’m calling these mini-interviews Embrace an Ace (because I’m hilarious like that), and hope you’ll enjoy getting to learn more about how diverse the asexual spectrum is!
Today I’m thrilled to welcome Ami to the blog. Ami is a self-professed Book Nerd, and can be found tweet over at @.
Welcome Ami, and thank you for stopping by!
To begin, can you tell us how you identify on the asexuality spectrum, and please explain what any terms you use mean?
I identify myself as asexual aromantic. The aromantic identity came to me after the asexual identity. I have pondered about this long enough, because while I am comfortable with identifying myself as asexual, I still wonder about the romantic orientation. I mean, is my lack of need to be in romantic relationship because I just “haven’t found the right person yet” or because I clearly don’t have the emotional need for one? For now, though, that is how I identify myself 🙂
Have you seen or read about any asexual characters, and if so do you have a favorite character?
I did read a couple of romance books that feature asexual characters — but somehow, I have never fully satisfied with how they are described. I know that asexuality is a spectrum, and no asexual person is the same. However, I just feel that the asexuality in those characters wasn’t fully explored, you know? So far, the asexual character that just satisfy my craving actually comes from fan fiction — I read an asexual Merlin (from Merlin/Arthur fandom) and an asexual Steve (from Steve/Bucky fandom) — and I feel more connected to them.
How did you first learn about asexuality, and what was your initial reaction to learning about it?
I come from Indonesia, an Eastern Culture country, with Islam as the major religion. Sex, in my country, is not something you publicly talk about. You don’t discuss about sex. It is still accepted in the society that you only have sex after you get married. Sex before/outside marriage can be seen as a sin or very frowned upon. So truth be told, I haven’t even heard about asexuality until I read MM romances because those books introduced me to different sexual orientation, not just heterosexual or homosexual.
I didn’t remember which exact book that introduced me to asexual as a sexual orientation, but I remember joining AVEN, reading the glossary, the definition, other people’s experience … and for the first time, I understood who I am and what I am in the sexual orientation spectrum. Like, “this is me!” moment. For the first time I see a label that fits me. And that label is very comforting.
What is a common misconception about asexuality that you often hear (or get asked)?
I don’t think I’ve been asked!! Heck, I don’t think most people in my country will understand about asexuality — again, I come from a different culture, and majority still see homosexuality as a sin and must be banned. So I don’t really ‘hear’ about it on my day-to-day conversation — people just don’t ask about sex here ^^. Only a number of people in real life know that I’m asexual, and that doesn’t include my parents.
Oh wait, I guess I was asked once by online friends, who said that maybe I wasn’t really asexual but just had low libido/sex drive, and whether I could just check it with doctor and have medicine if that was the case.
Do you have any asexuality jokes or puns to share?
Ugh, sorry, I don’t have one. But maybe the others can share it to me ^^
Okay, I’ll share one of my favorites really quickly:
Thank you again Ami for taking the time to answer some of our questions!
Please stop by throughout the week for more posts about asexuality and more Embrace an Ace interviews!