How to Bang a Billionaire, by Alexis Hall
Series: Arden St. Ives, Book 1
Publisher: Forever Yours
Release Date: April 16, 2017
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Rules are made to be broken . . .
If England had yearbooks, I’d probably be “Arden St. Ives: Man Least Likely to Set the World on Fire.” So far, I haven’t. I’ve no idea what I’m doing at Oxford, no idea what I’m going to do next and, until a week ago, I had no idea who Caspian Hart was. Turns out, he’s brilliant, beautiful . . . oh yeah, and a billionaire.
It’s impossible not to be captivated by someone like that. But Caspian Hart makes his own rules. And he has a lot of them. About when I can be with him. What I can do with him. And when he’ll be through with me.
I’m good at doing what I’m told in the bedroom. The rest of the time, not so much. And now that Caspian’s shown me glimpses of the man behind the billionaire I know it’s him I want. Not his wealth, not his status. Him. Except that might be the one thing he doesn’t have the power to give me.
BDSM (only a little)
When expectations for a book lead to feelings of anxiousness, I tend to end up either really loving a it, or really hating it. When I’m stuck somewhere in the middle, I never know what to say about it.
How to Bang a Billionaire left me sort of in the middle. Stuck.
On the one hand, the prose is beautiful, typical and expected from this author. Lyrical passages that, on their own, are wonderful and can leave a reader breathless. On the other hand, much of the book read as condescending and so high brow that it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
This is basically a retelling of another book. A parody of 50 Shades. Having read the 50 Shades series, I know this. It’s plain as day. This one does have some elements that leave it standing on it’s own, but the similarities are numerous and at around 60% I found myself not very amused anymore.
The characters themselves left little for me to love. Caspian Hart is a jerk and horrible communicator. He’s uptight, overbearing, and a complete ass. He’s the kind of character I love to hate. Except he’s not the kind of character, like Christian Grey, that I end up loving in the end of the series because of the changes he makes in his life… at least not yet. And Arden? He’s Anastasia Steele in male form. Clumsy, wildly naive, and totally over the top when it comes to his inner monologue. I wanted to throttle them both for a while, but in the end, I didn’t really care about either of them at all anymore. It was like I went from caring a lot, to not giving a damn what happened.
I don’t know if I can say that I won’t continue to read the rest of the series. This is the first time I’ve read a book by Hall that I didn’t absolutely love, so I want to give it a chance. I might just wait until the last book is out to take the leap.
Alexis Hall was born in the early 1980s and still thinks the 21st century is the future. To this day, he feels cheated that he lived through a fin de siècle but inexplicably failed to drink a single glass of absinthe, dance with a single courtesan, or stay in a single garret.
He did the Oxbridge thing sometime in the 2000s and failed to learn anything of substance. He has had many jobs, including ice cream maker, fortune teller, lab technician, and professional gambler. He was fired from most of them.
He can neither cook nor sing, but he can handle a 17th century smallsword, punts from the proper end, and knows how to hotwire a car.
He lives in southeast England, with no cats and no children, and fully intends to keep it that way.
You can purchase How to Bang a Billionaire from:
Barnes & Noble
I received an advanced copy of this novel in exchange for a fair and honest review.