Asexual Awareness Week: Growing up an Ace in Indonesia

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Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ami about asexuality, and she talked about how views of sexuality (and asexuality) differ between Western culture and her own in Indonesia.

I was so curious about this that I asked Ami if she’d be willing to talk more about being asexual in a non-Western country!

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Asexuality Awareness Week 2016: BDSM & Asexuality

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Hi! I’m Michele, I’m a freelance editor and reviewer here at JLR, and you probably know me online as neverwhere. I’m a biromantic asexual, and to celebrate Ace Awareness Week I’ll be talking about something which is important to me but rarely get to discuss, which is the sadly misunderstood and often ignored world of asexual kink. I’m a domme, but many people don’t know how this is even possible – I hope this blogpost will help clear up some misconceptions about BDSM in general, and perhaps even offer some new ideas about what you might enjoy! Also please do keep in mind that the spectrum for enjoyment is just as varied for aces as for anyone else, so my experiences and preferences may not be the same as others, and although I will try to address everything as inclusively as possible I’m approaching this from a dominant’s perspective, so someone who identifies as a sub might necessarily have a different response. 🙂

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Why We Need Asexual Romances

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I’ve been thinking lately about asexual romances, and having asexual characters in fiction. After writing about the discrimination that the asexual community faces, and the reactions from allosexual people when they encounter a fictional ace character, I realized something:

Asexual romances are necessary. In fact, they’re essential to maintain the balance in romance genre.

No, wait, hear me out. You’re thinking, “But I don’t want to read a book about two friends who don’t do anything for 250 pages. That sounds boring!”

But not only does that thought process slight the asexual community… there may already be more asexual characters and romances than you know about.

There are two reasons we need asexual characters and relationships in our books.

1. Human sexuality is a spectrum. The romance genre is, for the most part, centered on the spectrum, in the range of ‘average sexual attraction’ for a ‘typical’ relationship. But there are erotica novels. Lots of them, in fact. Books with only sex, and no plot. Books that are textual porn. Books with sex addicts and promiscuity galore. So we should have books on the opposite end of the spectrum as well, right?

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2. The romance genre is defined by a few very specific things. Per the RWA (one of the preeminent authorities on romance, I’d say), a romance novel must contain two things: “a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.” (Source). And many asexual people are capable of both of those things.

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